MONKEYS BACK AT THE TOP!

No, i don't mean the Monkees but Artic Monkeys, whose album, Favourite Worst Nightmare is sitting pretty on top of the UK Albums Chart selling well over double the entire Top Ten albums put together! That's an amazing feat! Their new single', Brainstorm, failed to top the singles charts last week, though. That honour went to Beyonce, Beyonce & Shakira, Shakira's (you know what I mean..) Beautiful Liar. That's probably because Brainstorm sounds like their other no.1 single, When The Sun Goes Down.. compare and judge for yourselves!

BY HER ROYAL (HAIR) APPOINTMENT

If, like me, you're a sucker for the latest Madonna's do, I'm sure you'll like her spanking new hair! She's been spotted with straggly hair with overgrown roots just hours before this photos were taken! I was waiting for her new hair appointment when I saw her pics in Malawi last week. Her housewifey hair then was sooo not a good look! Looking fab now Madge!

GEK OP BLOEMEN!

Yes dearies, my gardens are springing back to life. Spring is fantastische! Although of a bit of rain now wouldn't go amiss. It's been dry for a month and god knows my water bill is going to skyrocket! These plants don't water themselves ya know...

My Babies..

Just wanted to show my rainbow family a la Angelina Jolie & Madge..hahah!!

Still need to pick one up from Malawi though..

MADONNA THIS MADONNA THAT..
Ok now that she has darted off back to London, Mrs Ritchie is getting all busy finishing off her new album and wait for this.. directing a movie called Filth & Wisdom! I'm taking this with a pinch of salt as the british papers are notorious for their inaccuracies. Anyway, it's reported that she will direct this low-budget comedy this month. So soon??? Maybe she's confident enough after directing her own commercial for H&M. Please God be gentle..
Oh and she's also been nominated for 2 prestigious Ivor Novello song-writing awards. 'Sorry', from her smash Confessions on the Dance Floor album, gets the nods for Best International Hit and Most-Performed Song of the Year! Yay! Long live her Madgesty!!

US Dance Charts : Hmm.. it seems like my taste in dance music is still pretty spot-on! In the Billboard Dance Club Play Chart this week, Hilary Duff's With Love goes up to no.3 while The Killers' Read My Mind jumps into the Top 10 at no.9! I've been listening to these tracks so much this past 2 weeks, my ears are aching! Congratulations to the both of them! Peace.

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, of Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

Source: BBC World

AMERICAN IDOLS

Geez, just when I thought I'd give up watching American Idol, I chance upon this pic of 2 of the cuties in the finals. Damn, they look hot together! Hahah.. That's Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson by the way. I'm sure they're just nervous being in the finals and need to stick together. Aah.. so cute! Still, one can dream..

MADGELAWI

Her Madgesty finally arrives in Malawi with Lourdes on tow. Mother and daughter toured U.N.-backed development projects in the small village of Mtanga, where farmers are being helped to grow maize and start fish farming. They were greeted by singing women and children as they inspected the maize crop and storage facilities and stood by the fish pond.

SENSELESS PART II

This time in India. No nothing violent but demonstrators are out in full in Mumbai burning effigies of Richard Gere (yes, the Actor) after he was seen playfully kissing the Celebrity Big Brother winner, Shilpa Shetty at an Aids Awareness rally. Umm. And Shilpa is getting death threats now. Apparently public display of affection is still a taboo over there. Right. Too much time on their hands, then. Get a life/job/education/kitkat/..... (fill in yourself)

S E N S E L E S S.
It's like Columbine and the Texas massacres never hapenned. At least 32 are killed when a gunman open fire in Virginia Polytechnic and State University (Virginia Tech) in Blacksburg, Virginia. These students and probably lecturers are innocent. The gun law in the US is ridiculous. Stop the madness already! Our prayers are with the victims and everyone affected. God saves us all. Amen.

MOSS PIT

A senior figure at Barneys, the exclusive New York store that will stock Croydon-born Kate Moss’ TopShop collection, referred to her as “a working-class slag from a crap town”.

Oh dear. Not so nice. But then again, you'd get that by hanging around Pete Doherty (more famous for his heroin addiction than his music), wouldn't you?

Note to Kate: Quit while you can!

GAULTIER, DSQUARED or DOLCE & GABBANA??

Not that I can afford any at the moment, but I need some inspiration for my beachwear this weekend! So Gaultier (sans make-up, of cos!) or DSQUARED or D&G or all three? Hmmm...

SUMMER IN SPRING? GLOBAL WARMING GONE MAD, INNIT?

But I ain't complaining! The mild winter has been going on for too long.. So I shall head to the Scheveningen beach near me (10 mins by bike! - although honestly, I hate to cycle!) this weekend for some fun in the sun! Woohoo!

THE KILLERS

Hmm.. Brandon Flowers (lead singer, left) is getting more and more fine! Yum! Anyway, I'm loving their new single, 'Read My Mind' from their latest album, Sam's Town. Check out the promo mixes by Pet Shop Boys, Gabriel & Dresden, Linus Loves and Steve Bays. A bit strange for a rock outfit to have remixes but Stuart Price (the man behind Madonna's Confessions) did a fab remix for 'Mr Brightside' from their last album, Hot Fuss and got a Grammy for it!

MADGE IN MALAWI?

Apparently Madonna is in Malawi with baby David.. She's keeping up her goodwill effort to the orphanage that she has set-up over there. And David gets to see his real dad too! Altogether now: Aaaah..

ESSENTIAL INFO: Wanna get there to do your bit for Malawi or simply just stalking our Madge? Most international flights from Europe or other parts of Africa use Lilongwe International Airport, although a few regional flights go to/from Blantyre. Regional destinations with direct flights to/from Malawi include Harare (Zimbabwe), Nairobi (Kenya), Lusaka (Zambia), Johannesburg (South Africa), Dar es Salaam (Tanzania) and Maputo (Mozambique). Even when two airlines serve the same route, fares are pretty much the same. British Airways flies between Lilongwe and London once a week. There are daily flights to Nairobi from Tuesday to Sunday, from whence you can continue to Europe. You can also connect with flights to Europe and Australia from Johannesburg.

picture by wiredimage

the weeping madonna..

poor Madge, or rather H&M. It is thought that the anti-fur peeps vandalized one of the 2 huge billboards in Shoreditch, UK to make Madonna weep! With green paint! Kinda cool in an artsy-fartsy MoMA kinda way actually. In Singapore, thou shalt be whipped for doing so.. ouch!

MY TOP TRACKS OF THE WEEK:

1. With Love (Richard Vission vs Dave Aude Mixshow) - Hilary Duff

2. U + Ur Hand (Bimbo Jones Remix) - Pink!

3. Destination Calabria - Alex Gaudino feat. Crystal Waters

4. Beautiful Liar (Freemasons Club Mix) - Beyonce & Shakira

5. Last Night A DJ Saved My Life - Seamus Haji feat. KayJay

S H O P P I N G !

Went to Ben Sherman and got meself a pair of trainers and a matching bowling bag (see pics, above). Combine that with my newly purchased Abercrombie&Fitch 'muscle' polo t-shirt (it says here in the label!) and my Guess? waistcoat and I'm a high-street whore. Cheap but hey, I'm looking good for spring! If Madonna and Kate Moss can do it, so can I! Yay!

ooh look daddy.. the stock is bringing me another baby..sister! damn!

PRINCE OF ORANGE (ie. the dutch crown prince, Willem Alexander)

WELCOMES ANOTHER GIRL!

Oh dear. 3rd Princess, eh? Well, if this one looks like Princess Maxima,

we're cool! Her Royal Princess Maxima gave birth to a healthy baby girl yesterday, 10th April 2007. Let's eat dried bread with butter topped with coloured sugar thingies (the dutch craaazy tradition..) hmm.. lekker hoor..

MADONNA's NEW (MANLY) BRIGADE

So I wrote some time ago that Madge is releasing her body of work in a form of an exclusive box-set, right? Well, dunno if I'm wrong but I'm hearing reports from newspapers about her working on her new record! I'd prefer this! The new record will be a hip-hop meets dance meets whoever-is-big-right-now-and-would-love-to-work-with-her.. hmm. very. interesting. She's trying to break into the US charts again, I guess! The poor girl couldn't get the bloody radio DJs over there to play her last record.. Apparently, it was an age issue. Bloody americans, eh? If it's not too homo, it's too old.
With a line-up that includes Timbaland and Timberlake, Pharrell (yum!) and Chicago-dance genius Felix da Housecat (wat a fab name!) and Stuart Price (phew!) I really wonder what excuses they'll come up with? Too artifical? Too cafe latte? Well let's pull out the US charts and dissect!
Ooooh very eclectic mix of American Idols winners/losers (Daughtry, Katherine McPhee - I don't even know how they look like)and R&B Thugs (Mimms, Akon and er.. Fergie). Oh. My. God. I sooo gave up on the US charts yonks ago! Nonetheless, best of luck to ya, madge!

Lauren Cooper.. awriight.. She's brilliant! I still can't get enough of the Catharine Tate Show and apparently she's not doing anymore series after the last one! Boo! Anyone who saw Lauren and Tony Blair on the Comic Relief extravaganza last month must have shat themselves silly! innit tho?.. hahah.. am i bovvered? look at my face, do i look bovvered? topshop? ain't bovvered! centreparc? i ain't bovvered!

gaaargh! ITV, the UK channel has gone and adapted 3 of my fave Jane Austen's novels - Emma, Mansfield's Park and Northanger Abbey for the telly. They've gone and shown them last month I think, for their Jane Austen season. Of cos we can't receive ITV here in the Netherlands.. so its time to hunt for the dvd! grrr.. meanwhile, the BBC is scheduled to film a new version of Sense and Sensibilty.. Hurrah!!

bags. bags. and more bags.. it's never enough for me! accessories are more important to me than the clothes themselves.. go figure!

Her Madgesty, the honorable Madonna Louise Ciccone Ritchie, otherwise known only as MADONNA, is set to release a box set of her catalogue of hits and music videos to commemorate her 25th year in the business.. Oh my! How the years have gone by quickly! Anyway, the box-set includes 3 cds + 2 dvds at press time. I hope Warner does her justice by releasing a bonafide box-set.. and some new music please! We fans have everything already!! If we get another GHV2 fiasco, I'm gonna scream!

I just heard the remix of Hilary Duff's With Love (which didn't do very well in the charts) by Richard Vission vs Dave Aude (why are all these DJs 'fighting' nowadays???) and it rocks!!

Seriously, the beats are just amazing and would definitely get you to throw shapes on the dancefloor.. I have to listen to it again!