MY TOP 5 FAVOURITE REMIXERS/DJ
OK. I have rattled on and on about remixes of songs that I loved or still love. So bear with me for a bit whilst I list my favourite lot of the moment.


1. Seamus Haji
If you love throwing your handbag around in a club, this is the DJ for you. A resident DJ at Pacha, Ibiza for 4 years, this South Londoner of an Irish/Indian descent can build up any song to make it an Ibiza summer killer track (whatever that means!). My current favourites are his treatment for Booty Luv's Boogie 2nite and Rihanna's Umbrella.

2. Dave Audé
I can't get enough of his remix (in collaboration with Richard Vission) for Hilary Duff's With Love. Án electro-friendly pop turned into a massive disco-thumping anthem. Dave has remixed for many mainstream pop acts such as Sting, Coldplay, Alanis Morrisette, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Kelly Clarkson. His remix for Madonna's Music in 2000 still remains unreleased.

3. Offer Nissim
I was introduced to the sound of this Israeli DJ by my good friend although I've kind of heard about him when I was in New York. Offer offers (sorry.. couldn't resist!) disco beats with a middle-eastern twist! His rare remixes for Madonna's Jump & Isaac are very well structured and his surprising use of acoustic tremolo (persian guitar) is a welcome change on the dancefloors. Check out his remix for Christina Aguilera's Hurt & Candy Man. Your feet will not stay still for long!

4. Jody den Broeder
Not much is known about this guy but he sounds Dutch to me! Take a listen to his incredible mix (Jody Destruction Remix) of Rihanna's Umbrella and you'll know he will be huge in no time! If you look at this DJ's discography, you'll be impressed too! He collaborates with Tony Moran and Chris Cox on many club hits including Madonna's Get Together, Nelly Furtado's 'Promiscous Girl' and Beyoncé's Irreplaceable! Go check him out!

5. Moto Blanco
The duo of Bobby Blanco & Miki Moto was nominated for a grammy last year for remixing Mary J. Blige's Be Without You. Deservedly so! Mary's lovelorn tale was reinvented as a massive club anthem. Since then, they've been commissioned to remix Bananarama, George Michael, Mutya (ex-Sugababes), Darren Hayes, Pet Shop Boys, Mika and Ciara.

BATTLE OF THE SWAMP DIVAS

Hmm.. Look closer at the picture. This is a result of an unusual clash between a burmese python and an alligator! The python apparently tried to swallow her rival whole but exploded! This happened in the Florida's swamps. The python's remains were found with the victim's tail protruding from its burst midsection. The head of the python was missing. Oo-er!

MY TOP 5 TRACKS OF THE WEEK.

OK. I've been a bit of a slack with reporting my fave tracks. I wanted to do a proper review of the songs I'm enjoying right now, rather than just slapping the single cover and exclaim my interest! So I'll start reviewing properly from now.

1. How To Save A Life - The Fray

This song by the Denver group passed me by unnoticed when it was in the charts a month ago. I thought it was OK and nothing to rave about. But I saw them live on BBC1 last week and boy was I hooked! The lead singer's woeful paen to his drugged out friend won me over and his vocal performance was tears-inducing. The simple melody and powerful lyrics made this a top notch song!

2. Take Control - Amerie

Yes I'm still going on and on about this song. I think it's a gem. That guitar riff will jumpstart your hips to shakira-esque proportions, I swear! Oh and to add more cred, the male backing vocals are courtesy of that chubby guy of Gnarls Barkley! Coolness.

3. Hey You - Madonna

It's a shame that this song is a charity single and won't be eligible to chart. It's Mrs Ritchie finest moment being vocally raw and persuasive. The music is soft and gentle, reminiscent of a Beatles track (I think!) or was it Simon and Garfunkel(!). Anyway, I demand a video for this!

4. Umbrella (Seamus Haji & Paul Emmanuel Remix) - Rihanna

UK no.1 song of the week. Go figure! But as warned by me a couple of weeks ago, this will do well everywhere. I'd opt for the remix though. It's sassy and dancey and more of my taste. Seamus Haji is my fave remixer at the moment!

5. In The Dark - Tiesto feat. Christian Burns

Remember BBMak? No? Well they were a UK trio who made girls swoon with their soppy luuurve songs. Their 1999 single, Back Here was no.1 in the US and Singapore (amongst other asian countries.. - hey I bought their album!). And what's this gotta do with my fave fifth track? Well, Christian was the lead singer of BBMak! Yay! Tiesto has brought him back from obscurity, ie. the dumperville. Tiesto's dark grooves easily compliment Christian's vocals and it's a winner! I love it! I must admit that I thought this was a remixed Killers track. Christian sounds like Brandon Flowers at times!

AMERICAN IDLE

If truth is to be told, I really regretted following this year's American Idol. Waste of disk space, really. Nothing worth highlighting at all. The final 2 contestants couldn't cut the mustard. Very bad performances. Blake is cute enough and Jordin has vocal potential but that's it! Hardly stars in the making.. Anyway, I won't tune in anymore next year! Ugh! So who can't wait for SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?

PARISH HILTON

2 weeks to go before she goes for her reduced jail term (23 days only!), we see Poor Little Rich Girl grabbing herself a bible and a self-help book! Er.. you can repent girlfriend but it's too late! Those big scary lesbians are waiting for you in the showers and they don't like to hear the Lord's name in vain.. or maybe they do! My prayers are with you.. well, not really!

ALL SPICED UP If the News of the World tabloid is to be believed, the Spice Girls reunion is taking shape as we speak. Emma Bunton and Geri Halliwell were spotted this week coming out of a recording studio belonging to Richard Stannard who wrote and produced the Spice Girls songs at their peak. Mel C was reported to be the single spice not in favour of the reunion. Well, seeing that her last single, 'Candy', didn't exactly set the charts on fire plus the ₤1 million offer for each girl if they agree to make a comeback is kinda temptinglicious. Well, let's hope they do because I need my Spice fix! Girl Power ahoy! Woo hoo!

THE PERFECT COUPLE
Sigh. How gorgeous are Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie? Here they are on the red carpet in Cannes. You just can't help wanting to be adopted by them. Pick me! Please!!! I mean it!

GORILLA IN A FIT

A male gorilla named Bokito escaped from his enclosure in Blijdorp Zoo in Rotterdam, Holland last Friday, 18 May (I know I'm late!) injuring 4 visitors. What caused it? Well, a woman who's been visiting the zoo a few times a week has been taunting the poor ape through the glass enclosure with silly faces! So Bokito got pissed off, escaped and managed to locate that same woman, bit her and broke her arm! I don't blame him! I'd get pissed off too! I went to check him out yesterday at the zoo. He was not facing the crowd! All we get to see was his huge big ass! Bitch ain't happy! to see the video of the woman teasing the gimp, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWMs6ufaxa4

AND THE BAFTA IS AWARDED TO..

the completely undeserving ones.. Well I had to rant! I do watch a lot of British television and trust me I know a thing or two. For example: Ross Kemp On Gangs got the gong for Factual Series beating the execellent Tribe! That Mitchell & Webb Look won over The Catherine Tate Show for Best Comedy? How very dare you! Ugh! Oh and Ann-Marie Duft (The Virgin Queen) lost out to Victoria Wood (Housewife 49) for Best Actress? I could go on but then again these Brit TV awards are not really that prestigious, eh? Oh well. To see the full winner list, go to http://www.bafta.org/site/page129.html

HEY YOU! DOWNLOAD NOW!

OK. The song has been released offically so go to
http://liveearth.msn.com/green/Madonnadownload?wa=wsignin1.0

and it's FREE! (for 7 days only).

MADONNA - HEY YOU

LIVE EARTH CHARITY SINGLE

Of cos, the lyrics that I found a couple of days ago was a fake. I've just heard a snippet of it and I must say that I'm quite impressed! Nothing like what she has done recently. It's pretty mellow with a soft military drumming on the background. Wouldn't have guessed that it was produced by Pharrell actually. Her vocals are pretty raw, very engaging, a plea to 'open your heart' and 'keep it together' (I kid you not!).. I can't wait!!!

WORLD CUP VIBRATORS

Oliver Kahn and Michael Ballack (right, yum!) of the Germany team didn't win the last World Cup but won the suit against the vibrator makers Beate Uhse for using their names on the World Cup special edition vibrators. They got €34,000 each. I wonder why they sued in the first? Not actual size? Hmmm.. googling profusely beckons..

IT'S OFFICIAL no.1
Madonna is indeed shooting a short film in London called "Filth & Wisdom" as we speak. So the Brit press were right then.. (it's probably a film about my life!)
IT'S OFFICIAL no.2
Madge is releasing a charity single for Live Earth called "Hey You" co-written and produced by Pharrell. Yum.. Apparently it's a mid-tempo track about loving youself and others or something. It should be released as soon as this week actually.. Hurrah!!
Update: I found the lyrics to "Hey You" but it's probably NOT REAL but check out it anyways: http://www.metrolyrics.com/hey-you-lyrics-madonna.html

A GENTLE REMINDER

Just wanted to remind myself that I was once a very cute boy.

Nothing has changed since then. I insist.

(sfx: muffled background laughter - *tsk*tsk*)

ELIZABETH : The Golden Age

Oh my! This I can't wait to watch on the big screen. Cate Blanchett is back to reprise her role as Queen Elizabeth I. 'The Golden Age' is a historical thriller set against the backdrop of the religious fanaticism of the late 16th Century. The story continues 15 years on from the events of the film's 1998 prequel, "Elizabeth", and visits the 'Virgin Queen' in the middle years of her reign, exploring her relationship with adventurer Sir Walter Raleigh played by the dashing Clive Owen, no less. I am sooo looking forward to the costumes in this! If you've seen 'Elizabeth', you'd know how fabulous Cate was in the title role. Sadly though, her critically-acclaimed performance was robbed of an Oscar by none other than Gwyneth Paltrow for 'Shakespeare In Love'.

PS. I think I might have been Queen Elizabeth in my previous life!

EUROVISION CRAP CONTEST

The semi-finals was on yesterday for the next 10 to join the 15 countries this Saturday in Helskinky. And my guess was spot on. No 'appropriately' European country got through! Belarus, FYR Macedonia, Slovenia, Hungary, Georgia, Latvia, Serbia, Bulgaria, Turkey and Moldova went through to the final. WTF? Hardly any of them can be considered European! They should really re-name this contest to Eastern-Eurovision! It's just that it doesn't seem right when the eastern 'europeans' are doing the political voting amongst themselves. The Netherlands (poor Edsillia!), Austria, Belgium, Switzerland, Denmark and Portugal (all bonafide european countries, mind you) didn't get in despite their best efforts (except for Belgium - they were just dreadful!). Probably many of them have better things to do than calling in to vote.. oh well. That said, the male presenter of the show, Mikko Leppilampi (fab name!) is hotness though and he can definitely Leppi my Lampi anytime! Grrr...

LIKE A PRESIDENT

The newly elected French President, Monsieur Nicolas Sarkozy, was quoted recently saying that "the french love burgers, Madonna and Miami Vice". Huh? He was spotted at the Confessions Tour last summer shaking his french derrière off.. mon dieu! Trés cool.. but shame about loving Miami Vice though..

BABY DIVAS BATTLE IT OUT

Remember Amerie? She had a huge hit 3 summers ago with "1 Thing".. you know the one that goes.. nananana oh.. nananana oh.. oh oh oh oh oooo.. no? oh. Anyways, she has a new single out called "Take Control" and its fab! Check out the catchy guitar riffs on this one and you'd know what I mean.. This is my recommended track of the moment! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIx2u4vBL1Q

Another similar diva is shelling out a single and this time it's Rihanna. You guys should already know her! Well, her brand new single is called "Umbrella", not as catchy as "Pon de Replay" or "SOS" but it'll grow on you. It features Jay-Z, ya! ugh! but thankfully only for the intro.. phew! The video is glamorous to boot! Watch this space!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7bK4Vee36M

So take your pick.. at least one of them is going to be huge again! If not, I'll take up ballet.

HILTON JAIL

God has a funny sense of humour, really. Miss Heirhead has gotten into trouble many times before but this is a definite classic!

Paris doesn't think that the sentence was fair. She told cameras outside of her house, "I told the truth yesterday. I feel that I was treated unfairly. It's both cruel and unwarranted."

Uh-huh!

MAROON 1

Looks like a 3 year break can do wonders. Maroon 5 newest single Makes Me Wonder (from their May 22 release sophomore album, It Won't Be Soon Before Long) zoomed to the pole position in the U.S of A Hot 100 charts from last week number 64. Amaazing! This track is a bit dancier and poppier than their previous effort. I must say that Adam Levine is looking sooo fijn in the video! Loving those Gucci black patent loafers. Yum. Grrr.. (faints!)

OMDAT IK HET WAARD BEN!

That's 'because i'm worth it' to non-dutch speaking peeps. Introducing Doutzen Kroes (pronounced as 'dao-sen croos' or a 'thousand crows'.. depending where you are from.. hahah!), the latest addition to the L'Oréal ambassadresses. She's gorgeous! Innit, tho? Just feeling a tad proud since she's from the Netherlands and now being touted as one of the new supermodels (see the latest issue of US Vogue -she's third from left). Congrats, girlfriend!